Down - Up - Down.

Dylan's temperature is down.

Doctors' hopes are up.

Dylan's spirits are down.

It has now been 48 hours that Dylan has been fever free! This is wonderful news. It means that the second surgery likely worked, and the antibiotics are kicking in. The doctors are all very pleased. I heard one doctor in the hallway literally give a cheer this morning when the nurse told her he hadn't had any fevers since the surgery. It is so refreshing to see smiles on the doctors faces where I only saw worry before. I can tell that these doctors really, really care about Dylan, and as his condition got worse, and the mystery deepened, they grew more and more concerned. I am getting completely different vibes from them now. Smiles, nodding heads, laughing - all are good signs from them to me,just as low temps and blood levels from Dylan are to them.

Unfortunately, Dylan's spirits are lower than ever. Even though his condition is getting better for the first time in 2 weeks, he is actually feeling worse. He was feeling much better before his 2nd surgery. His pain was less and he was getting up and around, wanting to do stuff and thinking he was going home soon. Then came the surgery surprise, and suddenly he his back in the throws of pain again, can't get around anymore, home seems further away than ever, and he is just depressed. I breaks Mom's heart. Before, with physical therapy, he was trying so hard, really pushing himself (like Dylan always does with everything) and getting better by leaps and bounds. The PTs were so impressed. But the second surgery took it all out of him, and he is starting all over again with his PT. But this time he has no motivation. It hurts a lot. He cries a lot. He doesn't want to try. He is sick of pain. He is sick of the hospital. He is more miserable than I've seen him yet. It is heartbreaking.

Yesterday he was trying to sculpt an animal out of clay. He got frustrated because he couldn't get two ears to match. He got mad and threw the clay on the floor. When I asked him what was wrong he started to cry and admitted that he figured out he was going to miss Thanksgiving. He was very upset. His roommate, who has been here for two months for a similar infection in his knee, was told he was leaving Tuesday, and would be home for Thanksgiving. Dylan had heard that and asked me when Thanksgiving was. I told him in one week. He had done the math and figured out that he might not make it home by then and was very upset. I told him that our Thanksgiving would wait for him. Poor kid.

Dylan is not in the clear yet. We still have to get back blood cultures for several days that are negative for staph, and more tests are needed to assure the doctors that none of the staph has started to grow on the heart valves. He has to be up and walking, and he has to have a procedure to have a pic-line, a sort of semi-permanent IV, put in before he can come home. Of course, if he gets any kind of fever again at all, all bets are off. Lets pray for no fever.

I am hoping that tomorrow, Dylan's pain will be down, and his spirits will be up. I pray that tomorrow will be a better day, and the day after that better still, and that on Thanksgiving Dylan will be thankful to be home.

This down, up, down, up, is taking its toll on all of us.