Another Sad, Sad Tale of a Gift That Was, and Then Wasn't

(Like any sequel, this one is not near as good as the original.)

 I am sure, in reading the tale of the Christmas gift that never came, you asked yourself  "What did that miserable poor maiden get for Christmas?  Certainly she got something from her good husband." And the answer to your question, whether you asked it or not, is Yes, of course she got a present - a thoughtful and wise gift.  

After hearing his dear maiden call her bluetooth some of the same derogatory terms he had heard her call that small purse camera of hers, he decided to intervene, and possibly save the life of that tiny, helpless bluetooth.  So he purchased her an in-carriage bluetooth device, that attaches to the visor instead of on her ear.  It also converted her MP3 player to FM so the maiden's own ipod collection of  lyre music and minstrel's ballads could be played on the carriage radio.  Sure, it didn't take great pictures, thus not helping the torturous dilemma on Christmas morning, but it was a great gift, nonetheless.

So she brought it with her on the long ride to her Queen-in-law's house on Christmas Day hoping the new gadget would prove a distraction from the thoughts of the days events, and the pictures that might have been.  She managed to tear open the impossible plastic packaging, and pulled out device and the accompanying cords, instructions, papers, and pieces.  Distraught, and not being a technically minded maiden in the first place, she became overwhelmed but the tangle of chords, and techno-lingo instructions, and quickly gave up trying to sync her cell phone to the device.  (This is the same maiden who was given an XM satellite radio receiver for her Christmas last year, and it sat there until she got it installed as her birthday present 6 months later.)

The new Christmas present, and its parts remained splayed all over the front seat and dashboard of the Maiden's carriage, like the guts of a slain dragon, until well past the new year.   Finally, when the maiden came to her senses, and got past some of the grief over her lost camera, she realized that she had shamefully neglected the gift she had received, she remembered what her neglect had done in the past, and decided to take action, before it was again too late. So she shoved the device, and all of it's accompanying papers and pieces back into the torn open plastic packaging, so as not to lose all the pieces, and left it on the front seat, hopefully to be pulled out and used later.

Days passed, and then today, on this very day, the maiden had to take a long carriage journey to the far off land to Loma Linda Castle, with her brave knight, Dylan.  She grabbed her cell phone because she had a zillion phone calls to make on the ride.  But, search as she might, she could not find her old, little bluetooth anywhere!  Now, when she needed him, she discovered that he was gone.  Perhaps having grown weary of the name calling and badgery from the maiden, and knowing he had been replaced, the little bluetooth, now more blue than ever, had apparently run off with the pocket camera. 

 When would she ever learn?  Her despair was short lived, however, when the maiden remembered her new suitor, the Christmas gift blue tooth waiting patiently in the front seat for her to return.  She was saved!  She knew with a little love and patience, she would have a newer handsomer blue tooth installed and ready to use on her journey.

Rushing out to the carriage, she discovered that the package was not there.  Desperately she searched the seat of the carriage, and her little cottage as well, but it was not to be found.  Time was running short.  She had to get Knight Dylan to Loma Linda Castle before the stroke of midday.  She ran in and asked her husband where the Christmas gift was, where was the new bluetooth.  He declared that he hadn't seen it.  She exclaimed that she had put it all back into the plastic package so that she would not misplace all the pieces, as she had been heretofore done.  

"You put it all back in the packaging, you say?" asked her dear husband for clarification.

"Yes, of course!  Have you seen it?"

The husband's face fell as realization set in, and a cloud of agony lighted on his brow.  "Oh my dear.  All is lost.  I have thrown it away!  I have thrown it away."  Apparently, as he was taking the trash cans down the driveway to prepare for the coming of the great garbage trucks, he had most kindly leaned into the carriage to remove all the trash  that had accumulated therein.  Seeing the torn open plastic packaging on the front seat, he took it for garbage and tossed it into the can, the very same can that was later was dumped into the belly of the great garbage beast.  

Sadly, the love affair was ended before it had begun!  

The Christmas gift that was, was no more!

The husband, was most broken up about what he had done.  After all, it was his own hard earned money he had used to purchase the gift.  But alas, the misfortune of the maiden was not his fault.

Such is the luck if the fair maiden, or rather, such is what she deserved for not appreciating the gift  her loving husband had thoughtfully given her rather than pining hopelessly over the gift that could not be.

And thus ends the sad, sad tale of the gift that was, then wasn't.

Me and My Big Mouth

Last night I messed up big time.  After a fun family trip to the Wild Animal Park, we were driving home.  We were almost home when Dennis' mom called on his cell phone.  I picked up the phone because Dennis was driving.  "Hey, this is Mom.  Tell Dennis the Chargers won in overtime."  So I relayed the message.  "Hey Dennis, your Mom says the Chargers won in overtime."  Before I could even get the words out, my always gentle and mild-mannered husband pounded the steering wheel.  He was furious.  My first thought was one of surprise.  I thought he liked the Chargers, and was baffled at why that would be bad news.

"I was taping that game!  You just ruined it for me.  Thanks a lot!" 

Suddenly the whole thing started coming together.  The fact that I had heard him mention the Chargers several times that day with the boys.  After all, we had been in San Diego.   And the term "big game tonight" had also come up a few times.  And then there was the fact that he had listened to some boring talk radio (not his usual sports talk) on the drive home, and later even switched to kids' music when he was getting tired.

Somehow my feeble brain had not been able to put 2 and 2 together.  Of course!  He was taping the "big Charger game" and that was why he didn't listen to the game on the way home.  He was looking forward to watching his game all day, and I ruined it for him with my big mouth.  Oh, I felt so bad!  So, so bad.

The really horrible part - as of that isn't bad enough already - is that as bad as I felt, and as sorry and I felt, I couldn't bring myself to apologize.  Instead I tried to defend myself.  "It's not my fault.  I didn't know you were taping it.  I was just relaying a message.  You shouldn't have gotten so mad.  Its just a game."  Even as I was saying those words I knew I was dead wrong.  It was just stubborn pride.

I also knew all too keenly, that if it had happened to me, if something that I had really been looking forward to had been ruined by someone's stupid mistake, I would have had a fit, and I probably wouldn't have dropped it until I had let off all my steam.  Yet I was upset by his short outburst of frustration.

When we arrived home he gave me a big hug, and he apologized to me for his outburst.

I suddenly realized that I was doing the exact same thing as one of my boys - something that drives us all crazy.  His knee-jerk reaction to any situation is always an automatic "It's not my fault!"  Gee, I wonder where my kid gets it from?  Not his father, to be sure.

The truth is that Dennis is almost ALWAYS the first to apologize - Not because is he WRONG, but because he is GOOD.

I need to learn from his example.

I do believe, to be fair, that if I were to have had a do-over, I probably would have told him about the Charger's win - only because really, truly, my brain is functioning at a minimum capacity lately, and to figure out that he was taping the game in the splitsecond between hearing the message and relaying it, was just way too complicated for me to have figured out.  There really was not any malice involved - pure stupidity, and I can't really fix stupidity, apparently.  But if I had it to do over, I would have used my big mouth to apologize - immediately and profusely, even if he was angry, instead of throwing up my usual defenses.

That is something I defiantely need to work on in 2009.  Apologizing - early and often.

And honey, I really am sorry!

From Twilight, to Midnight, to Morning

New Year's Eve.  Dennis planned a wonderful romantic night away.  He got us a hotel, made dinner reservations, and convinced his mom  to spend the night to babysit and take over my night-shift nurse duties for one blessed night!  I was so excited!

It was wonderful.  We went to the mall to return a few things and get a few things.  I haven't been to the mall in forever.  I felt like a fish out of water.  Then we had a romantic Italian dinner at a small trattoria.  We reminisced about out trip to Italy together.  Anyone who knows me well enough knows that nothing speaks romance to me more than Italy.  I am a true Rome-mantic!

 Then we headed to the movie theater.  That's when things got iffy.

In the car he handed me a post-it note with two movies and playing times scribbled on it.  The first was a comedy, the second was a name I couldn't pronounce.  "Isn't that that Nazi war movie?"

"Um, ya, I think so." 

"But I told you I wanted to see Twilight."  I had so looked forward to the opening of Twilight, and then somehow I missed it when it came.  Where was I anyway? Oh, yes.  I was sleeping in a chair that night, wearing a yellow gown.

"I checked all the theaters.  Twilight isn't playing anywhere."

I was bummed!  So he chose the Nazis.

We get to the theater and up on the marquis it bold blue letters it says "Twilight."  Yay!

But it was 6:30.  Twilight didn't start until 9.  The Nazi movie started at 7.  He bought the Nazi tickets, and we walk into the theater.  I had lost a little bit of that loving feeling already.

"I heard this was a good movie," he offered.

"I'm sure it is." Silence.  " You know nothing turns me on like a Nazi war movie."

He frowns.

"Except, maybe... vampires."

He smiles as light dawns.

We trade the Nazi tickets for Twilight tickets, and go hang out in the hotel room for a few hours.

Brilliant move on his part!  Talk about win/win. Romance was rescued from the Nazi's grip.  My hero!

Now about the movie.  I have heard mixed reviews, so I was a bit afraid to see it.  But it turns out that I loved it!  Sometimes my literary training gets best of me, and I get nit-picky.  Drives Dennis crazy.  But last night, I just relaxed and went with my feelings.  Edward made my heart flutter, and the movie made me happy.  That's all it took to win me over.

When Bella sees Edward for the first time in the cafeteria, Dennis asks, "Do you really think that guy is good looking?"

"Edward?"

"Ya"

"Oh, ya!"

"Really?"

"Um...ya-ah.  Look at him."

"But I mean, the actor, if he didn't have the white makeup and the lipstick."

"Oh, ya."

"Huh."

I don't know why that baffled him so much.

Turns out Dennis liked the movie too.  Really.

We got back to the hotel room about 15 minutes before the new year arrived.  We were watching the New Year's Rockin' Eve in Times Square, as is tradition.  Some woman was singing (horribly) some nasty song.  The lyrics turned my stomach!  I was hoping my kids weren't watching.  So we turned the channel.  Found more coverage of Times Square on CNN, but they couldn't stop talking about the Clintons.  What a treat for NY, they said. Why?  Finally settled on an infomercial about a CD of 80's music.  Pathetic, I know.  I think we are old.

Midnight came.  Hurray for 2009!  We kissed and clinked the bubbly cider.  May '09 be better than '08!  Please, please, please!  There is a lot of wiggle room.  It can be a pretty crummy year and still be better than the one we just had.

2009 started out super great!  We went to sleep, and slept all the way to morning.  No alarms, no IV medicines, none of that.  What a treat to sleep 7 hour straight!  My Mother-in-law is an angel!!!

If the rest of 2009 is a good as what we have experienced so far, we are in for a treat!

Happy New Year!

Christmas Morning and the Sad, Sad Tale of the Gift that Wasn't

It is a classic tale of love and loss.

There once was a fair, not-so-young maiden who loved a camera, and the camera loved her.  They traveled the world, Venice, London, Hawaii, Yellowstone, taking beautiful pictures together.  But the maiden became increasingly selfish, used and abused her camera, carelessly dragging him everywhere, even places he did not wish to go, using him whenever she needed him, carelessly banging him into stuff, then tossing him to the side and paying him no mind when she didn't need him.  

The poor camera - cold, neglected, alone.  He dreamt of the days when she would pamper him and take care of him, lovingly caressing his lens with a soft cloth and carefully placing him in his nice warm padded case.  He had not seen the inside of his case for so long.  He, as any camera would, could only take such abuse for so long.  Then one day in early October, he clicked his last click... and he was gone.  

The maiden rushed the poor camera to the camera store, but the diagnosis was grim.  An operation could be performed, but at great cost, and he probably would never be the same again, and would die anyway.  She, tragically, discovered too late what her neglect and abuse had done and had to let him go.  In her sorrow, she made a solemn vow to never treat another camera that way again. 

The kind camera doctor, seeing her distress, offered to introduce her to another fine young camera friend of his, that he thought she might want to get to know.  The doctor pointed him out to her.  He was sitting in a glass case across a crowed room.  Her eyes, and his lens, met, and it was love at first sight.  She knew they were meant to be together, and she bought him on the spot and brought him home to occupy her now empty camera bag.  

But all was not well, for this fair maiden had a husband.  He had known about his wife's love affair with the first camera, but he was not the jealous type.  In fact he was the one who had introduced them in the first place.  He figured her little stint with the camera made her happy, and that made him happy.  However, he had watched with concern how she had used the camera, and had feared for the life of his digital friend.  When the husband discovered what had happened to the camera, and that his wife already had a new camera in her bag he was distressed.  He feared she had bought that new camera on the rebound, without carefully checking into him.  So the husband took it upon himself to do a little digging into the new camera's past.  

What he found was that his wife had indeed chosen well.  He was an upstanding fine young camera from a remarkable family with an excellent history.  But while the price she had paid for him was good, her husband discovered the same camera at an online store for much, much cheaper.  So he took it upon himself to return the camera she had brought home, and order one from the online store, only to find that the camera he had discovered for such a great price was back ordered.  He reassured his hysterical grieving wife, who had lost not one camera that she loved, but two, in one day, that all would be well, and that a few hundred dollars would be saved if she could just hold on, alone and camera-less, for a few days.  So the woman, who loved her good husband even more than she had loved her camera (and that is a whole lot) agreed to wait.  But those days turned to weeks, and the weeks months, and alas, no camera.  

The maiden watched time pass and her children grow without being able to capture those precious memories.  Sure, she was a modern woman, and had another portable camera in her purse, but it took terrible pictures and was ornery and stubborn. As time passed she began to miss her beloved camera more and more, and hate her stupid purse camera more and more as well.  Her iphoto suffered, her blog suffered, and she became more and more despondent each day.  When her husband asked her what was wrong, all she could utter was "my camera, my  camera." He vowed to get her the camera of her dreams... someday.

Then disaster struck again.  This time a sick child and the accompanying medical bills.  All thoughts of a new camera were swept aside.  When a decent camera was needed, the maiden's father lent her his, and she survived this way for some time.  

Time passed, and Christmas was drawing near.  The camera widow mentioned to her good husband that Christmas was coming, and that if ever she needed a new camera, it was during this season of giving and love.  She believed that he was planning to get her the camera for Christmas, but in her greed she begged him to give her the camera before Christmas, so she could take pictures of all the holiday happenings.  Opening the camera on Christmas morning would simply be too late.  She just couldn't get though the holidays with that stupid pocket camera she had been using.    Her husband assured her that money was tight, and there would be no new camera.  But she held out hope, as any blogger would.  

Meanwhile, the crappy pocket camera apparently had heard all the nasty things she had said about him and disappeared - walked out the door and never returned.  There was no love lost there, after all, a new camera was coming soon, she thought.

Then suddenly, it was Christmas Eve.  She saw her children all dressed up snugly in their festive caroling attire and once again begged her husband to give her her camera early so she could capture the moment.  He assured her there was no camera coming for Christmas.  Frustrated that her husband, who usually gets too excited and can't wait until Christmas or birthdays to give gifts,  had suddenly decided this year to hold out until Christmas morning, the maiden ran to her father, told him her woes, and he let her borrow his camera for the evening.

That night she dreamt of her her old camera that she had loved so much, and hoped that her new camera would love her has much as she would love him.

Then it was Christmas morning.  The children were stirring, anxious to run into the living room to discover the plethora of gifts that Santa had left them.  In her heart she knew, that one of those gleaming packages also held the camera for which she had waited for so long.  It was going to be a very happy Christmas, indeed!

  She went to grab her father's camera to capture those first few moments of discovery when the children see the tree for the first time.  But the camera was not there.  Her father, believing she was getting a new camera for Christmas, had taken the camera home with him the night before.  She ran to her purse, and started to dig around, before remembering that her purse camera was long gone.  Desperately she went for her video camera, at least it would be something, but it was out of memory.  She ran to her husband, and pleaded and begged him to tell her which package her camera was in so she could capture the magic that was Christmas morning before it was too late.  

Again he told her that there was no camera at all, and a look into his eyes told her it was true.  There really was no camera!  He really couldn't afford it.  He was so sorry.

She crumpled to the floor, hopeless and camera-less.  How had it come to this, on Christmas morning of all morning?  Her despair overwhelmed her.

The children, who could no longer be held back, came bouncing into the room, their eyes gleaming, and shouts of wonder and joy escaping their lips.  There was tissue flying and paper tearing, stockings un-stuffed and shrieks of delight.  But the maiden could do nothing but watch those moments as they quickly passed, becoming mere memories fading into the distance of Christmas past. 

 Oh the depths that her own selfishness and greed had gotten her!  She had had a camera she had loved, and it had died due to her abuse.  Then she had another camera in her hands, but because of her greed had lost that too.  And her little camera, the only camera she had left in the world, she had hated and called names, until he, too, was gone.  

And so the end of the tragic tale of the Christmas gift that wasn't.  (Not a classic Christmas tale, to be sure).  That is why there are no pictures of Christmas morning this year.

 Let this serve as warning to all.  Love your camera while you still have it.  Treat it well, pamper it and let it know you love it.  Lives of cameras are short, and you just never know when they are going to stop clicking. 

 (By the way, that goes for people too.)

I Feel a New Tradition Coming On

This weekend, my absolutely perfect husband took all the boys, except Luke, to San Diego for the whole weekend!  They left friday and didn't come home until Monday.  He took Dylan and all his medicine too, and the glorious part was that I got to get 3 full nights of uninterrupted sleep!!! You can't imagine how great it feels to be caught up on sleep.  It was so nice to have my fully functional brain back - if only for a weekend.

It was so great.  The boys got to go to the Zoo and spend some time with Dad, Dylan got to get out of the house and forget his troubles for a few days, and I got to get Christmas under control.  It was absolutely perfect!  What a man!  Thats is why I love him so!

Monday when they got home, the presents were all wrapped, the house was clean, and I was happy - no sign of Scrooge in me at all.  They boys were all happy about their fun time they had, Dennis was SO happy to see me again, and Dylan looked so healthy and good - he was getting around  so much better than he was just a few days before.  I think Caleb grew an inch or two too.

It was exactly what I needed, and I'm hoping we can make this all-male excursion a new holiday tradition.  Next time he can take Luke.  One more thing about Christmastime I can look forward too.  

It's a Beautiful Thing!

This is now the prettiest part of our house!

You see, there was this closet guy who owed Dennis some money, so he came and put these lovely cabinets in our garage at cost. Yes. They are lovely. But, as it should be in all things, the true beauty dwells within. Because of the sweltering heat of day, we worked late into the stifling night last night digging through, sorting, and labeling. I wish I had a "before" picture to show you, I really do. The change is dramatic. Oh, Dennis had bins, lots and lots of bins. He just wasn't very judicious about what went into which. There was duct tape with the fertilizer and sand paper with the lug nuts. Light bulbs of every shape and wattage had been stashed away into every nook and cranny of the garage, like a store of squirrel's nuts. The workbench couldn't be called a workbench, since it was so piled with stuff, no work could be performed there. It was a nightmare - a black hole. It got to be so bad that when we needed a certain size screw or piece of hardware - even if we knew we had one - it was easier to just drive to Lowe's and pick up a new one than to dig through that infernal pit of pliers and electrical tape. When Dennis was working on a project and would ask, surgeon style - palm up - for, say, a pipe wrench, I would recoil in horror. I'm not going in that garage to find a pipe wrench. It's not that I'm averse to playing the surgical nurse - I'd love to be of service. But my desire to serve ends at that garage door. I'll gladly climb under that sink where he is, but he can go find his own pipe wrench. Of course the guilt really sets in when he is, say, ten feet up a ladder, holding a heavy ceiling fan with one hand, and asks for a long Phillips. I struggle with that one, I really do. Should I or shouldn't I? Against my better judgement I give in and, trembling, go into the den of Grendel's Mother to find the long Phillips. I dig and dig, and in the end, the best I can do is a short flat. So I run back in the house, grab my shoes and keys and call, "You just hang on, Hon, I'm goin' to Lowe's."

Today is a joyful, monumental day!

Here's to hoping that those Lowe's runs are a thing of the past - for a while anyway.