What Was I Thinking?

The other day I was in my car waiting for my kids to get out of school, and I started to read my patriarchial blessing. (I have a tiny laminated copy in my planner, but I don't read it as often as i should!) I didn't get very far. Right at the beginning it says that in my first estate I used my AGENCY to choose to come to the Earth at THIS time. That stopped me in my tracks. I didn't read anymore. I have read this a thousand times, and had pretty much skipped over that part - you know, its just the intro. But this time it had an impact on me. I chose this time? Really? Why? What was I thinking? I guess I wasn't any more sensible and level headed back then then then I am now.

This time is rough, and getting progressively rougher all the time. I am frankly aghast at the nerve of our political leaders who thumb their noses at the divinely inspired constitution and the will of the people. Secret combinations abound and aren't even so secret anymore. Satan and his cohorts have their hands in everything (including the White House, if you ask me) and the tempest is surely raging fierce. What really amazes and frightens me spitless is the speed of it's progression! Society is so much worse than is was even 5, 10, or 20 years ago, and the prospects are even bleaker for the immediate future. What have we gotten ourselves (and our children) into now? Holy cow!!! Bleak.

I experience that icky sick-to-my-stomach feeling much more than I used to (No, it isn't a heath problem, but perhaps a healthcare bill problem!)

I remember Bro. Bunnel, my institute teacher, not even 20 years ago, telling us that we would see things get really bad really fast, and that we would think surely it can't get any worse, surely the end has come, but that it will just get worse, to the point that many will lose faith, and only the most valiant and faithful will keep the faith. Only then, when it has almost gotten to the point where things are so, so bad, that...

Well, I don't even like to think about it, but I have to admit, Bro. Bunnel was really onto something. I am amazed to think what changes we have seen in the past 20 years, since I have been old enough to pay attention. The great evils of society are now commonplace and accepted and the family, motherhood, freedom, etc. are all under attack constantly. I used to think that money was the great corrupter, that people would do anything for money. But I have come to see that it is really the insipid lust for power that will really destroy all that is good. Wherever there is evil in the world, there is a lust to get or keep some kind of power. I believe this has everything to do with the fact that the Lord is a lover of personal freedom for each of his children - power over ourselves, heart and soul! But Satan's way has always been a lust for power over others, and it is how he lures evil men and women in for his purposes.

I used to be an avid news watcher, and was very up on current events. But when Dylan got sick I couldn't take any more pain and stress than I was getting from that situation, and I stopped watching. I haven't fully been able to bring myself to get back into it since. It is just too hard to watch. Too sad. Too scary. But I have since realized that the only way we can survive is to be awake and aware of what is going on in the world, so I have started trying to keep myself well informed again. But ugh! There are days like this that I just get so discouraged. And it is not just political. Far from it. It is just the rampant wickedness that is shoved in our faces EVERYDAY!

I apologize to my kids A TON and explain to them that the world doesn't HAVE TO be like this. It really doesn't! But, sadly, this is all they know. But this is neither good nor normal. How badly I wish that they could live in a time of peace, like those 200 blessed years after Christ visited the Americas. How I wish my children could have experienced that!!! If I had my choice, why didn't I pick that time? Hello self! Duh! How sweet would that have been?

But apparently I chose now over then, and my question to myself is "why, woman?!?" I started thinking about myself. I believe that we are who we are, and we have ALWAYS had our personalities, from the very beginning, and perhaps even before that.

So what is it in my personality that would step up and say, "Yep, Lord, those last days, now that's the time for me!"

What was I thinking?

What did I know then that I am forgetting now?

I know I am the kind of gal who loves a challenge, and I love the opportunity to prove myself. Perhaps I was just showing off! "Last days? No problem. Bring it on!" Or perhaps I had an over inflated sense of my abilities "Evil, schmevil! That dude Satan don't scare me none! Who does he think he is messing with, anyway?" Yep, back then my sense of myself must have been pretty inflated! I'd like to think I've been humbled a bit. Perhaps not.

But, like it or not, this world, the way it is, is what I'm stuck with. I tell my kids "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit," right? I suppose that should apply here too. This time slot is the one I've been given, and now I've got to get through it and, much, much scarier to me, I have to get my children safely through it! It reminds me of some contestants on the Amazing Race who find themselves having to do some challenge 15 stories off the ground, and they are paralyzed with fear, and just can't move on! I always think, why on earth did they choose to be on the Amazing Race if they were afraid of heights, since there is ALWAYS a challenge or two that have to do with extreme heights? What were they thinking??? I usually don't feel too sorry for them because, hey, they knew what they were getting themselves into when they signed up. Right?

Well, right now I feel like one of those contestants in a much more amazing race, who is perched up on top of a swaying high rise and being told I have to rappel myself down all the way to the bottom, except instead of a million dollars on the line, I have to get down so that I can help all six of my children safely down too. I'm feeling kind of paralyzed, myself, actually. (I am NOT afraid of heights, by the way, just afraid of evil running rampant!)

But then again, I always tell those frightened folks (through the TV, of course) that really they should not be afraid. They have harnesses and guides, and hey, the truth is, it is a TV show, and the network wouldn't actually make you do anything truly dangerous because they don't want a lawsuit if someone dies.

I guess before I get paralyzed by fears I need to tell myself that I, too, have a safety harness, which is the gospel, and guides (parents, leaders, prophets) to help me safely down. The Lord won't let anything happen to me, ...us, right?

And I have to remember, too, that many of those contestants who do choose to take the plunge, when they finally get to solid ground, exclaim that it was the MOST AMAZING experience of their lives! They do say that, right? I'm kinda hoping for that.

So what was I thinking? Who knows?

But ready or not...

JUMP!

Remembering the Motherless

My poor children really need a mother, and it seems not one of them has any use for a full-time, live-in (kind of) Young Women's President.

Just saying...

Back Off! He is a Certified White-Belt!

The time has finally come! The last member of the family has finally joined the ranks of the Martial Artists. Now that Luke is four he is old enough to start taekwando (TKD). Now all of us are doing it! This is great because before one of us would have to stay home with Luke while everyone else went to TKD. Now we can all go together!!! (Making life just a tad easier!)

His gi is a little long for him and he keeps tripping over it, and his legs are a little too short to actually reach the bag when he kicks.

But he is with us, and we are all together, and that is all that matters.

Because you know what they say? The family that kicks, punches, and spin-hooks together - stays together!

Go Four!

Little Luke just turned four. We had a small family party in the backyard. It was a football/team sports theme, not because Luke is totally into football, but because his mother had a bunch of leftover decorations and goodies from the YW retreat the weekend before, and that was the theme. Luckily, it was stuff I could re-use for a boy birthday party. I could have planned something like a princess theme for the YW activity, then poor Luke would have be stuck with that.

He was happy with the chosen theme, because it meant festivity - and because there were balloons. That was good enough for him. I took advantage of the fact that Luke is only four and still easy to please.

In fact, he was SUPER EXCITED! He spent all day telling the grocery store clerks, passers-by, and anyone else who would listen that it was his birthday and he was having a football party.

The entire "party" consisted of our family, a few cousins, and aunt, a grandma, and the activity was simple - playing in the spa (I can't tell you what that has to do with football. Its just that we have a spa and not a football field in our yard - so we went with that. The kids didn't seem to mind.)

Besides, that's really all it takes for a good time...
..that and pizza and football shaped Cocoa Crispy treats (melt a bag of marshmallows, a stick of butter and 1/2 cup peanut butter - add a box of Cocoa Crispies and shape into footballs with your palms. make the ties with a tube of white gel frosting. The PB makes them extra yummy!)

Remember how last year when Luke was turning 3 he was a big grump and refused to blow out his candles or even smile? It was hilarious - in a pathetic and sad sort of way. Click here for a quick refresher of "It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To!" It was a good indicator of what 3 would be like for Luke.

Well, this year he was ALL smiles! There has never been a happier kid blowing out his candles. I'll take that as a very good sign. 4 will be fabulous, no doubt! (4 is one of my favorite ages!)

The excitement continued as he opened his presents, and he is at the age where good old cash actually means something to him! Every single present made him giddy! It is so fun to watch someone that excited to open presents!
He even enjoyed reading the cute card Caleb made him, even if he was reading it upside down. Caleb also gave him a gift that he is holding above. Any guesses? It is a yoyo made out of a rope and spool. Very creative. Luke was thrilled!

To tell you the truth, I was less than thrilled, actually. I had a really hard time with this party - partly because I was really having a hard time swallowing the idea that my baby will never be a baby again. I have had a baby (or two... or four) for the past 15 years (even though it all seems like I just started with this parent thing) and now to suddenly not have one is tough for me.

And I was also upset that I couldn't get a decent picture of the party because it was dark. I can't get my flash right and it is very maddening. I wanted so bad to have some cute pictures of Luke's big day. Oh well.

I am making a new rule right here and now: Henceforth, all birthday parties must take place during daylight hours! (that seems a lot easier than learning how to take a good picture in low light.)

Happy Birthday Lukie-Lu! I'm so glad you are on my team!

Newsworthy

This has been another newsworthy week for the Van clan.

Dylan was student of the month. We were proud of him, but sad to realize that the prized and much anticipated donuts were replaced by cookies. Cookies for breakfast? Hm? Donuts are a much more nutritious breakfast, don't you think?

And then on Thursday we went to the district science fair. We were 45 minutes late (surprise surprise!) and walked in just in time Derek and Dylan's names to be announced. Great timing, if I do say so myself, at it is a LONG, LONG program. Dylan got first place for his project "Jiffy Lube" where he tested different kinds of lubrication on a pinewood derby car to see what made it go fastest. Derek also got a first place ribbon for his project "Weight For It!" where he used the same pinewood derby car to test where on the car is the best place to put the weights. Their projects were very similar in how they were done, making it much easier for us to do both, yet tested very different things about the car.

I was rather surprised, since we did both projects entirely the night before they were due. We weren't looking to win, frankly - I just wanted to get them done and over with so we could all go to bed. (Alex won a few years ago, then went on to County where we had to redo the entire project and it was a ton of work, so I wasn't really anxious to go through that again. Actually, winning was the LAST thing on my mind at that late hour.) So getting two blue ribbons was a pleasant surprise!

Then all the blue ribbon winners had to stick around to see who would be the sweepstakes trophy winners. We stuck around to humor the boys, and guess what? They both won! Shocker! (We can't seem to lose a science fair even if we try.) This means that they both get to go on to the county science fair in April. So much for just being done with it, huh?

But, I am really proud of them, and I have to admit, their projects were original and fun to do. I know they learned a lot in the process. The science of speed!

In other news... Alex and I were interviewed by a reporter from the Desert Sun last week, and there was an article about him and his Eagle project in Thursday's The La Quinta Sun section of the paper. It was kind of exciting.

Here is a link to the article, in case you missed it.

So, if you are still counting, we can add a certificate, two blue ribbons, and two trophies to the medal count. Newsworthy, indeed.

Four!

My sweet baby Luke turns 4 today. Four!

I'm reeling!

What a joyful ride it has been! What a joyful child!

I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed that delicious, happy, cuddly baby, and find him just as delicious, happy, and cuddly as a big boy!

But 4? Really?

I'm SO glad my youngest was/is a cuddler. It makes it all a bit more bearable. He still cuddles extensively, only now his long arms and legs seem to be everywhere as he wraps them around me. But I'll take it!

I so love that baby... um... I mean... kid. (This will take some getting used to.)

I love that when his sippy cup is leaking he tells me it's "melting."

I love that he makes his own honey and jam sandwiches - no peanut butter. And for his birthday he has requested meatball pizza.

I love that he has replaced his potty mouth words like "stupid" and "butthead" with the words "Fluffy" and "rubber ducky" all on his own. "...because those are nice words. People like those words." So if he calls you a fluffyhead you better watch out.

I love that he wants to spend forever playing his favorite made up game, "pickle" where he holds two fingers together tip to tip, and I have to "cut" his pickle with my hand karate chop style. He laughs and carries on like it is the funniest thing in the world, though he doesn't appreciate my version of the game "pickle tickle."

I love that he plays hide and seek by telling me just where to hide, and then insists that he only has to count to "one."

I love how he counts in random order.

I love that his favorite color is "wello."

I love how he thinks he is Superman and will wear his cape day in and day out. How when I ask one of his brothers to to something, he'll declare "I'll do it!" then pull his elbows back like he is getting ready to take off , just like they do in the cartoons, declaring "Super Luke to the rescue!" then runs off to accomplish his superhero task (like fetching more toilet paper for his damsel in distress.)

I love how sometimes he insists we call him "Dr. Luke."

I love how that poor hipless child is so used to his pants falling down that now he automatically holds them up all the time without thinking - always walking around with one hand on his hip.

I love how he knows everything, can expound on anything, and his favorite line is "I told you!"

I love how he is always singing at the top of his lungs. For the longest time his favorite song was "A bee sis bah, a bee sis bah, make a little, make a little, bee sis bah." I had NO IDEA what it meant until I finally figured out it was a song he learned in preschool: "a 'B' says 'bah' - Make a letter..." Duh mom. "I told you!"

I love how his love of playing on my iPhone has made him a gifted pickpocket and can literally lift it out of my back pocket without me noticing a thing!

I love how he can play the Moron Test on my iPhone better than anybody in the family, even tough he can't even read. He memorizes all the answers! He tells me "you push this button, you LOSE!" He never pushes that button.

I love how he somehow knows how to get into the settings of my phone and whenever I retrieve my phone from the little pickpocket he has changed the background picture to a picture of himself. Every time!

I love how he is such a chatterbox! He talks more that any of my other boys ever did (even Derek!) When I'm driving, I just love to listen to what wealth of information is pouring from the kid in the car seat.

I love that he says stuff like "All the girls think I am awesome!" - I know I do.

And I love that every time he colors he is not done until every tiny bit of paper is throughly colored. (He does the same thing with my life - fills every bit with color.)

I love that he is MINE, and that he will always be my baby...

...even if he is four!

Happy Birthday, my Luca! I love you forever! I like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be!

How Much Do I Owe Thee? Let Me Count The Ways...

How much do I owe thee? Let me count the ways....

NONE!!! ZiP! Zero! Nuttin'! Zilch!

Dennis just announced that he has paid off all of our credit cards. Balance: $0.00!!!

He had to drag me to the computer just to show me all of the zeros!

The cars are all paid off (for now - until the Suburban lands in the junkyard sometime in the very near future, I'm sure!). Finally paid off all the medical bills. And now, all the credit cards.

Now all we have left is our home mortgage, of course, and Dennis' (gag, gag, cough) million dollar building - but that is an important business investment and doesn't actually fall under the category of family finances, does it? Oh the joys of owning a small business!

In time. All in time.

Meanwhile, my hubby seems to be a new man. He is positively floating! (Yes, it is quite something to see a man his size float on air.) He keeps telling me how lite and easy he feels, like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He is more motivated to work (not that that man needs anymore more motivation to work!) because now the money he makes stays in our own family pocket. And he is making plans for things we need and want so we can save up and pay cash for them. No better feeling that to own something free and clear!

So what is it that my man really wants and can start in earnest to save for - for absolutely real?

If you know Dennis, you know it is his dream log cabin! A place for our family to go (escaping the dreaded heat of summer) and be together - kids, or grand kids (it might take that long). We bought the land years ago - bought and paid for - a pretty little plot near Idyllwild wedged between a forest and a creek. Since then he has been pouring over log cabin magazines and formulating in his head, the perfect family getaway. (But the longer we wait to build it, the larger and more grand the little log cabin in the woods becomes!) I really think it has been his motivation for success, which is fine by me, and knowing Dennis, it WILL happen. If Dennis wants something, he will always make it happen.

And if a log cabin means I don't have to go camping in a tent so often, I'm all for it! (But can we get something by the beach next, please? My dream.)

It is so fun to dream - especially when you aren't having nightmares about giant plastic cards chasing you down to smother the life out of you.

Yippee!

Trailblazer!

As the oldest of six boys, Alex has always been somewhat of a trailblazer by default. The first to go to school, the first to lose a tooth, the first to win a pinewood derby race, and now the first to finish his Eagle Scout project!

Alex has been gung ho about scouting from the first day he put on his wolf cub uniform 6 years ago, so it is no surprise that he has gotten to the point where is is doing his Eagle Project at the ripe old age of 14.

And his favorite part about scouting? Hiking! No doubt about it. That boy is a trailblazer!

So when it came time to choose a project Alex was so excited to find something that is right up his alley - trail improvements for 3 trails up in the La Quinta cove.

The big day was last Saturday, but the truth is, Alex did most of the hard work well before that day. He learned just how much work goes into planning something like that, and he did a great job meeting with city officials, and scouting officials, planning, getting permits and permissions, etc., etc. He did most of it on his own and was so on top of everything. Typical Alex. I was so proud.

Lots and lots of volunteers rolled in for the big day - family members, ward members, friends, and community members. There were about 30 people total.

But the rain clouds also rolled in, making it all the more an adventure for everyone involved.

But no little rain clouds would deter this group. They were ready to work! Bring it on!

After gathering everyone and everything together, Alex gave some instructions before dividing everyone into 3 groups to head down the 3 trails.

Their main job was to fix any trail markers and signs that were damaged or down, add informational stickers if missing, and install new trail markers anywhere where the direction of the trail was in question. They also picked up trash and moved rocks and such to make the trail more passable when needed.

The rain kept everyone cool as they worked, and the reward for all their work was some hot (and soggy) pizza.

A few geniuses found a way to keep their pizza pie nice and dry!

Of course it wasn't all work and no play.

It was just a great day to be outdoors, and even better to be doing something good at the same time!

After all the wonderful volunteers went home, there were a few more things that needed to be finished, so our family went on together to help Alex complete it all.

It was fun to work together and enjoy the beautiful desert.

When the work was all done, the boys had entirely too much fun digging through 70 year old dump. (Alex was given specific instructions NOT to pick up THIS trash on the trail. I couldn't believe how extensive it was!) I had fun digging too, I must say. I found a few milk glass jars and some old dishes from a local La Quinta resort. We felt like anthropologists sifting through the artifacts.

Ah, the beauties of nature!

Finally, we were all exhausted, but it was done! The trails in La Quinta cove as looking better than ever, and discovered a fun place to come and hike and explore some more.

1 Eagle project done, 5 to go!

Thanks to EVERYONE who helped Alex to do this!

What a trailblazer Alex is! Eagle Scout.

Mamma is so proud.

Reunited - and it feels so good!

Have you heard the news? Finally, after a long, long separation, one of the all-time great duos is getting back together. No, not Sonny & Cher, not Sigfried & Roy, not Laverne & Shirley, not George & Gracie, not Abbott & Costello, not Batman & Robin...

I'm talking about me and Mac! Yep, my laptop, my faithful friend, who I go to first thing in the morning, and say good bye to last thing at night, the keeper of my treasured photos, my access to the wonders of cyberspace, and my faithful sidekick in all my adventures in the blogosphere has finally been returned to me.

Our famous partnership came crashing to an end just after Christmas vacation when Luke knocked my laptop onto the tile floor, smashing the screen. What should have been a quick screen replacement stretched out to 6 long weeks due to an international shortage of that particular screen. Torturous! After a lonely flight to Kansas City and back, Mac came home, but he was just not the same.

He looked great in his shiny new screen, but he sure wasn't functioning the way he used to. His memory was full, and was running incredibly slow. I couldn't download anything else. But it wouldn't let me back up anything on an external hard drive, or burn CDs, so I had no way of backing up all of my precious photos so I could clean them off the computer to create more memory. I was stuck! Horribly, hopelessly stuck!

Well, it took 3 more weeks, and the help of several people to get the problem resolved (I hope) and now finally, blessedly, Mac is back right where he should be, warm and cozy on my lap!

Now I wish I wasn't so busy this weekend because Mac and I really need some alone time. We've got a lot of catching up to do! (Thousands of photos to download and edit, and we are SO behind on our blogging. Plus we have to do a ton of organizing and housecleaning, and backing up files and burning CDs, etc. Plus, I have an EXCITING new project underworks that I can't wait to finish and introduce to everyone!!! Stay tuned!)

But at least we are together again, and Mac is feeling like his old self again...

and that is all that matters right now.

Pretty as a Princess..um...er...(clear the throat)..I mean...a Punk

Last Saturday, Luke was invited to a birthday party for his friend Brinley. He was so excited and couldn't stop talking about going.


In hindsight, I realize that the catastrophe that was about to occur could possibly have been avoided, had I properly prepared and informed Luke about what he was about to see.

Did I mention this was a Princess party? I guess I didn't mention it to him either.

Poor Luke.

He sensed something was amiss when instead of pulling into Brinley's driveway we stopped in a parking lot of a mini mall. He was hesitant about stepping foot into "Enchanted Memories" something that looked every bit like a beauty parlor - not that the youngest of six boys has any idea what a beauty parlor is - but he knew instinctively that this was just WRONG! Really, really wrong and his brothers would NEVER approve.

Yes, he recognized the faces, sort of. But what on earth were they doing? Why did they look like that? Luke began to panic. We got about halfway into the place when Luke sized up a huge castle in the back half of the building. Now, boys like castles, right? Castles can be cool - especially when being attacked by marauding invaders, or better yet, fire-breathing dragons. But this was NOT that kind of castle. EVERYTHING was pink and sparkling - from the pink shag rug to the walls to the ceiling.

THIS was a PRINCESS castle - no doubt about that!

Luke took ONE LOOK at that castle and declared definitively "I'm leaving!"and in an instant had dropped the present, turned, and BOLTED full speed out the door!

He would NOT go in there. As much as I tried to convince Luke that those princesses really needed a handsome prince, and that there were other boys in there who were man enough to stay in a princess castle, every little bit of man inside of him was screaming this this was just not right!

What a cruel, cruel trick to spring a princess party on a real man like him! Unbearable humiliation!

(For the record, Luke was NOT the only little boy to run terrified and teary-eyed out of there that day. It really was that scary pink!)

I finally drug Luke back inside where I introduced him to the video games. He declared that he didn't want to play princess games, but I convinced him that Mario Bros. is hardly a princess game, so, with the promise of birthday cake he eventually gave in and decided to stay a while. What bravery!

While the girls got curly, glittery locks and princess crowns, the boys got some "manly" whacked out colorful styles. Luke was still to wary, even when all the "cool" kids were doing it.

Luke finally gave in to a faux-hawk - but NO COLOR! And NO Face paint.

When Luke realized his manhood was not to be stripped from him, he started to enjoy himself.



He hung out with the cool kids...

and kept an eye on the pretty princesses...

and avoided getting hit by the spinning princesses...

He was even invited to tea with the queen - all the while managing to keep his manhood in tact.

Happy Birthday Princess Brinley!

And congratulations Prince Luke for being man enough to face your dragon (albeit a very pink dragon) head on! The very picture of bravery (with cool man-hair too!)