Right Where They Should Be

Today is Sunday, and all of my children are home, getting ready for church, right where they should be, and I am so grateful and proud.

Let me explain.

My two favorite 10 year olds are both heavily involved in their Lego Robotics team at their school. Since way back last spring they have been spending several days a weeks after school learning about robotics, and as a team, building and programing one to perform certain tasks at a big competition at Legoland. They absolutely LOVE robotics. It is literally all the ever talk about. I love listening to the two of them jabber on and on about it on the drive home from robotics each time. I have NO IDEA what they are talking about (I'm SO very not mechanically or technologically minded), but they are sure excited about it!

Well, all was wonderful, and the kids were really looking forward to finally getting to the big competition at Legoland, until the teacher, Miss Liberty, announced that the competition might, or might not, be on Sunday. Last year the competition was on a weekday, so we were very surprised by this. The competition this year would take place on a Saturday and Sunday. The kids would compete on one of the days, and play at Legoland the other day. She wasn't sure which day they would compete.

Of course we were very sad to hear this news. Why on earth do they have do have stuff like that on Sunday anyway? Why don't the organizers of such events understand?

Anyway, as much as my boys were looking forward to a day playing at Legoland, they were WAY more looking forward to the competition, and if they had their choice, would rather attend the competition than the amusement park. So we decided to make a concerted effort to really fast and pray that their competition would be on Saturday. Since there were quite a few LDS kids on the team, we invited them all to join us. My kids really prayed and fasted, we all did, and they remembered to ask in every prayer.

But in the end, the teacher announced that for our school the competition was to be on Sunday after all. We had over the weekend to decide what we would do, whether or not we would compete with the team on Sunday. How disappointing! My boys and I cried, but mostly me because I know how hard they have worked, and how excited they were. It was so unfair! I did everything I could do to try to fix it, going so far as to contact the person over the entire program, explaining the problem, and that there were so many kids that had the same problem with the religious conflict on the team. She emailed me back that there was nothing they could do, and that considering there were so many kids on the team with this issue, she was surprised that the teacher chose to compete on Sunday. Apparently, the teacher thought their chances were better on Sunday. Lovely! I guess Miss Liberty took the gamble that if she picked Sunday, the LDS kids would come anyway. Turns out she was mostly right. Mostly.

The twins went to Legoland yesterday - Saturday. They played and rode on the rides, and had a great time! Then they came home.

Today is the big competition. We will all be going to church, and I couldn't feel prouder or more blessed!

You see, that weekend that the teacher gave us to decide whether or not we will be competiting was a toughie for us, for all of the families, I'm sure. I wanted SO badly for them to compete! I knew how much they LOVED robotics and how HARD they have worked on it. This wasn't like missing a soccer game because it was on Sunday. This was the one and ONLY competition all year. That's it.

And to make things more complicated, the boys have important roles on their teams. Derek is the head programmer, and Dylan is the head presenter (kind of hard to be a presenter if you are not present, huh?) and the team leader. It is kind of hard to duck out last minute when you have such crucial roles!

Needless to say, my boys' not competiting on Sunday would be not only hard on them, but a hardship on the whole team.

Eventually, I got emails from parents of all of the other LDS kids explaining that because if the circumstances, the crucial roles their children also had, their obligation to to team, and the last minute knowledge that the competition was on Sunday, and other very good reasons, they had decided to let their kids compete. I understood, I really did. It was a very tough situation to be put into.

But in the end, we decided, (it was ultimately the boys decision) that they would not compete. Actually, we never really had to decide. We knew from the moment that we heard that the competition was on Sunday, that they would not be competing. You see, we have taught them from a young age what is and is not appropriate on the Sabbath, and we have always stuck to our guns as much as possible. We teach our children that you make tough decisions before the problem comes up so that you don't have to make them when the heat is on. Well, the heat was REALLY really on this time! But our decision had already been made about what one does and does not do on Sunday, and that made it easier for us.

Our family motto, if you will, is "VanBuskirks always follow the prophet. Always." and we teach them that if there are exceptions to the prophets' words, we aren't it. As much as I wanted them to compete, I could not, in the end, reconcile to two. You either follow the prophet, or you don't. You either keep the Sabbath, or you don't. And as hard as this decision was, we also know that harder decisions will come for them in their teenage and adult years, and that whatever we decided here would set a precedent for them and our other children in the future. This was a major factor in our decision.

Yes, we realize that by not going on Sunday, we put the rest of the team in a hard situation - it is not good to be without you team leader and head programmer at the competition. We feel really bad about having to let the team down like that. I really hope it doesn't hurt their chances (though I think it will). I feel badly for the rest of the team that have also worked so hard, I do! I really did consider them. But in the end, we knew the only one who really mattered was the Lord, and what He expected of us.

Dylan summed it up perfectly on the morning we had to tell the teacher our decision and I asked the boys what they had decided. Dylan said, "I made my baptismal covenants before I joined the robotics team, and that is more important."

Well said!

In the end, all the other LDS kids went to the competition. I love and respect them and their wonderful parents. It was a tough call, really, and everyone had to do what they felt was best. I was, however, still disappointed, of course, as I think it would have been a lot easier on my boys if they weren't the only ones. Plus, I keep thinking what a great example and missionary tool we might have set for the teacher and other students if the LDS kids stood on a united front. Oh well. (I kept hearing "the cheese stands alone" in my head that day.)

Once the decision was made, the boys didn't quit the team. Quite the opposite. They started working EXTRA hard to help the team. They had to work really hard to train the kids who would be doing their parts on the day of the competition. Derek worked on overdrive to get the programing for the robot done, and Dylan stepped it up big time as team leader. The teacher said she has never seen a kid with such leadership skills who know how to get everyone doing what needs to be done. In the past two week the boys worked on Legos before and after school every day!!! They had been working so hard to make sure they sent their team off as prepared as possible.

The funny thing is that as heart-wrenching and tear-filled and hard as that decision was a few weeks ago, we are all totally fine today - the very day of the competition. The boys are not moping around feeling sorry for themselves. They are happy! They feel good about themselves and the decision they made. They are rooting for their teammates (we all are!), but they are happy to be home and heading for church.

And I am filled with joy and satisfaction that my boys are right where they should be... in every sense of the word.