Cupcake Conundrum

So last week, Dennis made a trip to Costco, and when I got home this is what was sitting on the counter: 

It was a box of 20 super-jumbo size cupcakes with 3 inch thick frosting.

Do you know what my first thoughts were?  Well, it wasn't "Oh goodie, Cupcakes!", as Dennis had expected.

I had lots of thoughts at the same time, actually:

1. Why on earth would he buy those?  It isn't anybody's birthday!

2. Those are like 15 weight watchers points each!

3. Our children DO NOT need this!

4. HE does NOT need this!

5. I definitely do NOT need this.

6.  How am I going to keep the kids out of this?

7. How am I going to keep the hubby out of this?

8.  How am I going to keep myself out of this?

9.  I do NOT need this kind of temptation!

10.  There will be a mess.

10 1/2 . A very big mess!

And I'll take a guess as to what HE was thinking when he bought them:

1. Oooooh, cupcakes.  Me like cupcakes!

So I let him have it.  How dare he bring those cupcakes into this house, are you trying to sabotage us, etc.  After the initial shock of having to reconcile the idea that anyone wouldn't be absolutely excited about jumbo cupcakes with 3 inch thick frosting, he thought fast on his feet, and said they were for the office.

"Fine, take them to you office."  End of discussion.  Dennis had narrowly avoided a wife meltdown.  Whew.

But by morning, the plastic was open and one cupcake was missing.  Then came Mom's whole "OK, gentlemen, who took the cupcake?" game.  Dennis fessed up.  

"You are taking 20 cupcakes to your office, and only 4 people work there.  Couldn't you have just waited 'til then?"  Guess not.   Well, when a soul needs a cupcake, he needs a cupcake (A truth I fully do appreciate!).

And you know how it is once something has been opened - the vultures descend.

An hour later, four more cupcakes had mysteriously vanished.

Dennis left for work... and left the cupcakes on the counter.

So I call up my DH and tell him to come get his cupcakes because he CANNOT leave them there to tempt me all day.  

He says "Why don't you just use some self-control?  I have self control."  To me.  HE said that to ME!

"Self control.  SELF CONTROL!  You had NO self control for 30 seconds when you spotted these cupcakes at Costco, and because of it, you expect me to have self control ALL DAY LONG  in this house just knowing those tasty morsels are sitting on the counter waiting to be eaten!  Come get those cupcakes, or I will throw them away."

He rushed home, and walked in to find a three year old covered in a substance looking pretty much like three inch Costco frosting, and a steaming wife.  Luke had, in an attempt to get to the cupcakes, accidentally dumped over the whole box onto the kitchen floor.  There was a jumble of cupcakes on the ground, and frosting everywhere.  

I've heard of upside-down cake, but upside-down cupcakes?

Remember, Madame Momma had predicted this mess!  She knew those cupcakes meant trouble.  Madame Momma always knows!

"Why didn't you just put them up?" Dennis accuses me.

"Up?" I ask, "Define 'Up'.  Where exactly is 'Up' where Lukie can't get to them?  He can get anything anywhere." 'UP', as a place to put thing away from the kids, ceased to exist long ago!

Meanwhile, Luke had managed to grab two, one chocolate, and one vanilla, and run under the refuge of the dining table to feast.  There was frosting ALL OVER the dining chairs and carpet.  Nice!

And Caleb, who hadn't yet gotten a cupcake, suffered severe disappointment from the whole cupcake incident.  

I had known this wouldn't end well, hadn't I?

"Just throw them away." said Dennis, defeated.

"Good!" I said, glad to finally get my way.

So I scooped them all up back into the box and carried the whole thing outside to the big trash can and dumped the whole mess of them...

...but not before loosing ALL self control and stuffing my face with some untouched portions of cake and frosting!  Holy cow, that was tasty!

And then I was sad that I had gotten my way and  they were gone.