Caleb on Rain and Santa

Oh the wisdom of a 5 year old.

Yesterday, on the drive to kindergarten in the rain.  Completely serious, Caleb reports, "Rain... is pee... from God."  He has the world all figured out.

Then after school, he explained the nature of Santa Claus to me.  "Mom, not all Santas are real.  There are only four real ones, all the others are NOT real."  How do you know which ones are real?  "Mom... you'll know."  How come there are four real ones?  "Mom, this world is too big.  So there is one Santa for this part of the world (Caleb uses his arms to section off the world around him, north, south,east, and west,  like giant slices of pie.) and one for this part, and one for this part, and one for this part."  OK, that makes sense. "Yes."  Is there a Santa here?  "Yes, but our Santa is far.  They are all far because everything close is warm, and everything far away is cold."  You got that right kid!  How about your cousins in Texas, do the have the same Santa as us?  "Which way is Texas?"  I point East.  "Yes, they have the same Santa we have."  How about your cousins in Oregon?  "Which way?"  I point North.  "No.  Different."  What about Lisa's kids.  They live in Rancho Mirage.  "What way?"  I point West.  "Different."  But they live here in the desert right near us.  "No.  Different."  So apparently we were sitting right in the vortex of Santa zoning.  The whole world was divided in quarters, and we happened to   be right at the four corners of it all.  Amazing.  So Caleb, do all four Santas look alike?  "Mom, you know what Santa looks like."  Are they twins?  That one got no reply, just a look like I was really stupid.  

So Caleb, which Santa lives in the North Pole?  "They all do."  They all live together?  "No, Mom.  Thats silly.  They all live in the North Pole, because there are four North Poleses."  I thought there was only one North Pole.  "No.  Four.  They all have their own Elvises too. "  Elvises?  "Yes, little Elvises.  They are small."  Elves?  "Mom, thats what I said."  Oh.  So Caleb, what is our Santa going to bring you for Christmas?  "I hope diamonds."  Diamonds?  That kid dosen't mess around.  Why diamonds?  "Because they are made of gold!" (duh!)  Oh.  Do you think the Elves can make diamonds?  "Probably not."  No, probably not.  What if Santa can't bring you diamonds?  "Then I want a big motorcycle!  A real one.  What do you want Mom?"  Diamonds, definately.

And then this fantastic line this morning:  "I love the rain.  Rain is good for dancing!"  

Caleb, I completely agree.