Newsflash: Indy and his Crew Recover Stolen Treasure

Dateline: June 9, 1938
The renowned archaeologists, Dr. Henry Jones Jr., Professor of Archaeology, Barnett College, Fairfield, N.Y., recently asked Dr. Derek VanBuskirk, and Dr. Dylan VanBuskirk, co-directors of the National Museum of Antiquities, to assemble a team of some of the world's leading archaeologists, anthropologists, historians, Egyptologists, cartographers, and linguists. Their mission was to recover a priceless treasure, the fabled "Fountain of Youth" for whichPonce De Leon spent much of his life searching. Dr. Jones discovered and excavated the treasure on a Caribbean island, sources report, called Bermuda Dunes. Shortly afterward, the treasure disappeared! It was believed that the Nazis, knowing the power that eternal youth could have on their cause, took the treasure.

The team was assembled in an undisclosed location and were briefed on the situation before beginning an around-the-world quest to recover the treasure. They were provided with passports to be stamped at each stop, and hip-sacks for their treasures. Their first stop was the dig site in Bermuda where Dr. Jones first discovered and excavated the treasure. The experts were handed brushes and given an opportunity to sift through the dig site, where they found a large stash of pirates' gold and a few old bones as well as a clue that lead them to their next stop, Dr. Jones' father's library in Venice, Italy.

When they arrived, they found his library in disarray. Research books, notes, maps, and a vast collection of ancient artifacts were strewn everywhere, But Dr. Henry Jones, Sr. was nowhere to be found. Apparently the Nazis had gotten to him first. On closer inspection, the team discovered that before he was taken away, Dr. Jones Sr. was able to hastily write a message on an old scroll in an ancient American language. The linguists in the group used the magnifying glasses they were given to decipher the code - the treasure was to be taken to an ancient temple in Brazil. The team departed immediately.

The experts arrived at an ancient temple, guarded for ages by booby traps and filled with spider webs and bugs. Inside, on a pedestal was a ancient Fertility God made of solid gold. In order to receive the clue, the experts had to fill a burlap sack with sand to the same weight of the gold treasure with which they could replace the sand bag on the pedestal when they took the idol, so as not to disturb the trap underneath. Each team member took a turn filling the sack to the exact weight of the heavy gold idol. Finally, the exact weight was found! But when they got into the inner chamber of the temple, they found that the Nazis had already escaped with the treasure deep into the Amazon rain forests.
Jones' team raced into the rain forest and heard behind them a loud rumble. They were being pursued by a giant bolder. It was rolling through the jungle and everyone had to be quick on their toes or they would be crushed. When the danger had passed, a clue told them that the treasure had been taken to Turkey. They were off again!

Down in a secret chamber under an age-old church in Turkey, the team encountered an old knight, a Knight Templar form the crusades who was miraculously still alive and waiting for their visit. He was the guardian and protector of the fabled "Holy Grail." There were numerous cups of all shapes and styles, many elaborately ornamented and encrusted with jewels. One by one the members of the team had to step forward and select and sip from the cup that was believed to be the holy grail. If they chose wisely they would taste everlasting life. But if they chose poorly they were poisoned and would die on the spot (well, actually, it just didn't taste very good.)
Dr. McKee Thatcher chose wisely. Here's a toast to long life! After his refreshment, the knight handed Dr. Thatcher the clue and the team booked passage to Shanghai, China.

In Shanghai the clue was easy to find in a small silk box, just steps away. Unfortunately it was in the middle of a swarming, churning, slimy snake pit! Each team member had to take their turn through the treacherous snake pit on giant jewel stepping stones, retrieve an artifact stone, and escape before being struck dead by a venomous snake or crushed alive by a giant python hanging overhead! When each was safely out of the snake pit, they had to smash open their rock to find a magic skull ring. The clue sent them to the Nile and the great pyramids of Egypt.

After locating the golden sarcophagus of the Pharaoh Tutankhamen, the team had to spilt into three teams and perform an ancient ritual - they had to mummify themselves in "families" by standing together and passing a roll of mummy gauze around themselves. The first team to use up all their gauze received the clue. They left the underworld and went to Fiji.





In Fiji, they found the natives quite restless. The looming volcano was erupting and spouting fire and hot lava. The team members were captured and required to walk across a long narrow plank just inches above the bubbling molten rock, remove a magic tiki talisman from the heart of the volcano, and return back across the lava while the natives chanted "hoo ha ha, hoo ha ha." Miraculously all the team members made it back alive, though some were a little singed. Satisfied, the natives let them go. They escaped to Peru.

In Peru, a local guide led them to the notorious Forbidden Temple of the Incans, famed to be watched over by the magic ruby eyes of the Mystic Skull. Many treasure hunters have entered the Forbidden Temple, never to be seen again. Indy's gang hoped their fate would be different. The group had to break into three teams and do a rely-style search within the dark corridors and levels of the glowing ancient temple, each looking, in turn, for a different specified artifact - a royal tiki cup, a sacred stone, a jewel heart, a gold idol, and a mummy bone. Fortunately, the Mystic Skull was undisturbed and the team members escaped, unharmed, with their artifacts.

The search for the treasure finally ended at a massive warehouse known as Area 57 where it was packed in a large wooden crate hidden among a sea of similar wooden crates. Using their skill and knowledge, Dr. Jones and his team located it and hoisted it above them where they worked together to break it open with a big stick. Out tumbled the treasure - the "Fountain of Youth" - candy! And lots of it! The team of renowned professors, archaeologists, historians, and anthropologists and the like dove for the candy and upon eating it suddenly reverted to children again. Truly this was the fountain of youth!!!

Famished from their travels, the children were taken to one last stop - India - where they feasted on an array of local delicacies - snake eggs, crunchy beetles, fried green snakes, worms in blood sauce, sugared rats, and of course, chilled monkey brains. Delicious! It was the meal they deserved after all their adventures and hair-raising experiences around the world.









In the end, the treasure, what was left of it, was returned to National Museum of Antiquities, thanks to Dr. Indian Jones, his colleagues, Drs. Derek and Dylan VanBuskirk, and the team they assembled. Good work, gentlemen, and Happy Birthday!!!